the adventures of mamma j

changes

2006-07-07T15:06:00.000-07:00

So many changes have been going on in my life. It's like the gods took a broom and decided, hmmm, we're going to sweep all the old crap away and inundate her with change. It's been so overwhelming, I haven't been in a mental state to write about it, but I'm going to try now.

Thanks to anyone who might actually come back to read this.

Item one: I have a new job. I got the job through a friend of LaDawna's, whom she brought to a girls' night at my house. The woman encouraged me to apply for a job w/her office. It's an office manager at a gyn/oncology office. I didn't think I had a chance in hell of getting it. It requires supervising 3 people, and I have no supervisory experience. So I went into the interview and basically told them that I could of course DO the job, but that I would require a whole lot of training. That maybe that would work to their advantage, that I was fresh meat and they could train me any way they want. Figured what the hell, I didn't have anything to lose. Well, lo and behold, I guess they appreciated my honesty, because they hired me. And not only that, they offered me a 50% salary increase. I'm not in slacker hippie-ville any longer, however, this is a corporation I'm working for now, with all that entails. No more playing on the computer all day, or coming into work in a wrap-around skirt and sandals. While I'll miss that, I need MORE MONEY, and am willing to pay the price it takes to acquire that. Or at least try it out and see if I can take it. I can still be my usual freaky-deaky self after 5. I start Monday.

Item two: I met a guy.....

It came about this way. I met Missile, the punk boy from my last post that I met on Myspace. Brief recap: 22 year old guitarist, twelve tatoos, plays in a punk band called Pissing on Your Mama. I didn't actually want to go on a DATE with him, just really wanted to have sex with him. But I couldn't figure out a way to say "Hey, I don't really care about you as a PERSON, I just want to fuck you for one night because I haven't been with another man in 3 years, and I just need to get that out of my system, and you're the first likely candidate to pop up". So we decided to go play pool, do the yadda-yaddedy that you have to do before you get laid if you don't want to feel like a total slut.

I show up to pick him up (because of course he'd had a DUI and couldn't drive), and my first thought is, "My god, the boy has BRACES". Which, in a sick way, was kind of a turn on. Second thought is, "He's dressed exactly like Dexter". Vintage punk Misfits t-shirt, pants with a multitude of chains hanging from them, black newsboy cap. Kind of a jolting revelation. But I didn't want to marry the boy, or have any sort of on-going relationship w/him, so figured what the fuck.

Ahhh, the beauty of Myspace.

Anyhow, as dates go (and I hadn't been on one in many, many years) it went pretty well. It was all pretty amusing. We got along as well as we could be expected to. He was your typical self-absorbed early twenty-something band boy. God knows I have enough experience with those. But he had a sweet way about him which belied his angry punk-boy exterior. He bought me a palm rose (an origami flower made out of florida palm trees, recently spray painted enough that when you sniffed it you got a head rush) and told me about the beautiful French girl that kept calling him, asking him to marry her for a Visa. A group of punk teens came over to fawn over his t-shirt and make arrangements to use his recording studio, while peering at me to figure out what exactly was going on THERE. Whatever; I didn't care about the teens trying to figure out the age difference or the girls pursuing his ass, just his ass for that night.

Which, of course, I got. I mean, how hard is it to get a young boy in bed? Really, it's not even a challenge, but since that was what I was looking for, it worked out fine. He lived up to his Missile name, and we had a fun time all night long, till I finally crawled home at 7:00 in the morning.

But while it was fun, it felt kind of empty. Yeah, romping in bed for 5 hours w/a boy with a huge penis is all well and good, but it wasn't like I wanted to see him again. And I'm sure he wasn't looking for his soul mate in me, either. It was an itch that needed to be scratched, and we scratched it well. But it had been satisfied; no reason to pursue it further.

Then somehow Irving came back into my life, and we were kind of half-ass hanging out. It was the same old thing, I loved him, but couldn't deal w/the non-commitment thing anymore. I went to Jacksonville to meet up with my girls for a party. That, too, was fun. I met about twenty women from the group, skinny dipped with a bunch of beautiful women, and ended up in a 3-some. And that was fun, too, but I still felt like I was missing something.

And finally I came to realize that, as hard as I've tried for these past three years, I am just not the fun-time slut I used to be. Even during my groupie days, I had always been looking for that "one" guy, just figured if i hopped on enough dicks, eventually someone would turn out to be that person. That's probably how I ended up in my doomed marriage. And swinging is fun and all if you're the third, the elusive "bi-girl". But if I was in a relationship, I don't think I could share that person with anyone else. I know a good amount of people that are in the lifestyle and have good, solid relationships. But it's not for me.

All these realizations were raining down on me, and I was trying to process the information, try and work out what it meant in my life. So I figured I would just chill for awhile and figure everything out.

Then Mike called me.....

Mike is a friend of Steve and Ali's. They had been trying to fix us up for years. While we always had a good time when we were together, we just never hooked up. He was probably one of the only men I never took to bed for the hell of it when I had a blatant opportunity. It just never felt right.

I ran into Mike a couple months ago, when I took the boys and Irving to the BB King concert at Wild Adventures (a theme park in Valdosta). We caught up, and I thought, hmmm, he's looking kind of cute. He calls me a couple weeks ago, he has a gift certificate for a fancy sushi place in town, and since he can't take a "real" date out on a coupon, did I want to go? Being the coupon sort of girl that I am, I accepted immediately. Free sushi? Hell yeah.

Well, we ended up talking on the phone for an hour that night. Then another hour a couple nights later. I thought this was somewhat strange, seeing as I hate to talk on the phone so much I turn my phones off at night so they won't ring. But I still didn't think that much about it when I met him for dinner. It took us an hour to order dinner because we were talking so much. After dinner, we went to the downtown plaza for a funk concert, where we drank a pint of seagrams and I danced my ass off. Next thing I know, he's walking me out to my car and laying a kiss on me. We promptly drove to his house, where I spent the night. And the next night. And he showed me what a forty-something man is capable of sexually. Very impressive.

He's continued to impress me the next couple weeks. Last weekend we went to Ali and Steve's farmhouse to housesit (who are ecstatic at the development in our relationship, as you can imagine). I had the one of the best times of my life. Lot's of naked sunbathing, dips in the spring, and sex. Also a fabulous necklace and bracelet, which he surprised me with for my birthday (which is tomorrow), and gourmet brownies with a bday candle in them.

Mike is a few years older than me, but an age-ignoring hippie like me. He likes the same music, and doing the same things as I do. He's an environmental engineer, but is going back to school to get his horticulture degree. And apparently has had a long-time crush on me that he's never felt free to act on. Until now. He left yesterday for six weeks, to go on vacation to Montana and Ireland. Will I wait on him? You betcha.

Is this love? I don't know, it seems like it's been so long since my heart has felt free to indulge in it. But I'm looking forward to finding out when he gets back.

Tomorrow my gang is all going to the springs for my self-celebrated 38th birthday. I will fill you in on the other changes in my life soon.

i'm a slacker

2006-05-05T10:23:00.000-07:00

well, to all 8 of you who may come back to read this, i apologize for my slackness (Deos, this means you...lol). I have had months of emotional turmoil, when I just had to step back and figure some things out. These things being:

1) PDK was arrested for having weed. Not once, but TWICE within a 3 week period. The kid is not too smart, obviously. Actually, he's very intelligent, just not much common sense. Much chaos has ensued from this, which means I have had to crack down on him and much of my time has been focused on trying to whip him back into shape. There has been a vast improvement in his behavior, but it's all been a result of intensive ass-whippin on my part. Not physical ass-whippin, the kid is over 6 ft tall, but mental ass-whippin and revocation of all privileges. Now he's in a program that requires him to take regular piss-tests, so the pot smoking has definitely ended. For now, at least.

2) The Irving drama has continued. And quite frankly, I figured all of you were sick of hearing about it. I was doing really well until Raine's wedding. It's hard to avoid your ex when you're surrounded by all of your "couple" friends and dressed to the nines, looking hot. So of course we ended up in the only logical place: in bed, having some serious make-up sex. goddamn it, i knew it was wrong, but he looked so good in that suit, i couldn't help myself. Then we were going to just see each other casually; fuck-buddies, if you will. Like that worked so well the first time. So we ended up spending more and more time together, and voila. We were right back to point A, in a relationship again. I kept feeling more and more freaked out by it all; no issues were resolved, yet here we were being monogamous again.

So finally Wednesday night, I broke down and blurted it out that it wasn't working for me. Now he's pissed; he feels like I led him on, when in reality I've been saying the same shit for 3 YEARS, and just because he decided to postpone his departure for two years doesn't change the fact that I will still end up ALONE while he travels on to his destiny. It was either break up on my terms now or his terms later; and I'm doing it ALL on my terms now.

This would all be fine and dandy if I was 23 too. But I'm almost 38, and time has a different meaning for me than it does for him. Plus, I really love him, and I can't spend another two years waiting for the shoe to drop and my heart to be broken yet again.

And anyway, I'd been meeting all sorts of new people thru my new addiction, Myspace. Once I hooked back up w/Irving, I was suddenly in limbo with all of my potential new friends. I suddenly didn't have time to meet w/people for a cup of coffee or a beer, because all of my free time was spent with him.

I've never spent any time in an online community, with the exception of IRC, where I didn't exactly feel welcome (and yes, i know I was an outsider, but I still liked it there). I was more of a lurker, out of habit more than anything else. So I LOVE Myspace. I've found all sorts of old friends, not to mention the new ones. If you're one of my long-time readers, and would like to be added on as a friend, please give me your myspace profile name (either in the comments or email me at mamma_j68@yahoo.com).

The first time Irving and I broke up, I spent those months nursing my wounds and basically being a hermit (with the exception of the all girl 3-way...lol). Now I'm feeling the need to move on. And tonight is when I begin that process. I'm meeting Missile, a 22 year old guitarist in a punk band. I know, I know, another young one, what the hell am I thinking? Well, I'm thinking that this fine, hard-bodied, tattooed guitarist boy will be just the thing to take my mind off of Irving. He likes older women (and has been the pursuer in our situation), I like younger men, so we'll see what happens. He is one delectable morsel of a man.

Other happenings:

Raine and Dan got married. We took Raine to Ybor for her bachelorette party, and much drunken debauchery ensued. The wedding was beautiful, Raine was beautiful, we all got too drunk, and you know what happened from there.

Spanky and Milena are engaged. Their commitment ceremony is next April.

Dexter has went goth. He runs around in slave pants w/pounds of chains and handcuffs hanging off of him. But he's still a good boy, and he's going to his first prom next weekend. He's going to look so handsome in his tux.

Next weekend is Jean-Pierre's wedding. Another ex bites the dust.

I'm meeting my Jax bi girls the weekend of 6/2 for a "bring your favorite toy" party. Sounds promising.....Also that weekend, I'm meeting an guy I've been chatting with. He's an architect, and is 35, which will be the first time in several years I've dated anyone near my age.

I also have several girls on the burner....

More later.

i'm back.....

2006-03-29T16:21:00.000-08:00

I have been incredibly remiss in my journal postings lately. No, I didn't fall off the face of the earth in the past couple months. I had other dramas to devote all of my energy to. And I do mean ALL my energies. But those stories will come soon, because I have alot of catching up to do. And I know what you've all been waiting for: Mamma Jen Finally Gets Some Pussy. Good lord, it certainly took long enough, didn't it? Not that I was trying whole-heartedly to hook up when I was with Irving, but DAMN. I was making somewhat of an effort. But all my searching was finally rewarded at the bi-sexual yahoo group slumber party.

I drove over to the beach that Friday afternoon. You might remember that my crush Princess and I were sharing a beachfront room. Princess....ahhh....Princess looks exactly like Catherine Zeta Jones. Yummy. I got to the hotel first and lounged around on our balcony, reading People Magazine and soaking in the ocean air. Princess arrived, and there was a very friendly, casual vibe between us. We loaded up our crap (beer, wine, cheesecake, my taco dip, and a mysterious package Princess's fiancee had sent w/her w/instructions to not open it until we were well into the party) and headed down the beachwalk to Donata's (the groups' leader's) room.

So much fun, walking down the beachwalk, dragging our case of beer and mystery package, being yelled at by transients hanging out on the benches drinking forties.

We loaded ourselved and our goodies onto the elevator. There were two other couples there, both in their seventies, debating the best place to buy Brooks Brother's suits. As Princess and I arrived at our floor, one of the men said, "You ladies look like you're going to have a good time!" We laughed politely, but when we got off the elevator I couldn't help but say, "They have NO idea". Princess replied, "We'd probably give them a heart attack".

Hmmm.....The night was already looking promising.

Donata had gotten a beachfront jacuzzi suite. Four girls were there: Morticia, a twenty three year old goth art model; Kara, a forty something country girl w/a rockin body; our Pleasure Party rep Bonnie; and her girlfriend Butch. I reminisced about my Pleasure Party rep past w/Bonnie and Butch (one of the few good memories from my hellish redneck marriage). A couple more girls showed up, new girls whom we had not met before, Tit and Tat. We admired Tit and Tat, it takes alot of guts to go to a random hotel room to meet new people you only know from an internet group. And, I guess, a great desire to go from bi-curious to certified bi.

We all piled onto the bed for the Pleasure Party. In case you've never been to one, a Pleasure Party is like a tupperware party except they sell massage lotions, edible body paints, sex toys, etc. Pleasure Parties are very interactive; you taste creams, smell pheromone perfumes, rub on numbing gels. By the time we got to the toy part, we were pretty liquored up. Bonnie had a massive assortment of sex gadgets. Half the time she pulled one out (not LITERALLY pulled out, the interactive part doesn't include the toys, unless you count feeling how hard the various vibrations were in your hands as we passed them around), a girl would shout out, "Already have it!". I swear, these girls had literal chests of toys. All of them were in long term relationships, though, and I can only imagine that's what you need to keep things exciting. Seems like I had more in my married days.

There were various sizes, and after each one, Princess would call out, "Bigger!". Finally we were all convinced that her fiancee must have a penis to rival John Holmes. If we were to ever meet him, we would all immediately stare at his crotch, wondering what he might be packing.

My god, how was I ever going to satisfy this woman? I felt so inexperienced.

When the demonstrations were done, we all went about the business of ordering our new toys. Seeing as I seemed to be behind in the sex gizmo thing, I ordered two; one of those small, pearl twisting jack-rabbit things, and a very large purple phallic vibrator. Figured I'd cover all my bases for any girlies in my future. Bonnie had the pearly one with her, but the humongous purple one would have to be mailed to me, much to Princess's dismay. Sigh.

Princess broke open her mystery package from her fiancee, and it contained: ten candles, a strap on dildo, and a home-made twister game that had three boards with spinning dials, each board with a different name or instruction on it: Kiss Donata, On the breast, With your mouth. Stuff like that. We were all impressed. Such an imaginative, open-minded boy! And with an apparently monstrous penis! Princess has herself quite the catch.

We ate some food, drank some drinks, and Bonnie and Butch left. Which left Princess, Donata, Kara, Morticia, Tit, Tat, and myself. In short order, Princess, Kara and I were taking off our clothes and jumping into our bubbly jacuzzi. Tit and Tat left, sensing the vibe of the party changing, having satisfied their initial curiosity about our group. I have a feeling they'll be back, though.

The three of us relaxed in the hot tub, talking about random bs. Donata and Morticia laid on the bed. It all seemed a bit innocent to me, and I wondered if anyone would take the initiative to get things started. It sure as hell wasn't going to be me, as I was a newbie to all this and had no idea what the hell I was doing.

After about an hour, Princess was feeling dizzy from the booze and the steam, and Kara had to leave (she had a funeral to go to the next day. Morbid, i know, but she did). We all got out and laid on the bed. Kara started rubbing Princess's back, and Morticia rubbed my neck. Next thing I know, Kara and Princess are making out.

Well, I knew I was getting in on THAT. As I started to kiss Princess, Morticia backed away. She and Donata undressed and got into the hot tub. And I ended up in my first official girl-girl-girl threeway (as opposed to the girl-girl-guy).

What to say? Well, it was fun. A HELLUVA LOT of fun. Sixty fingers, six breasts, and three mouths go a long way, baby. While we didn't break out our toys, there were many things inserted to various orifices. Unfortunately, Kara had to leave soon after we started, and Priscilla was passing out from the two bottles of wine she had drank, so it all went rather quickly for my taste. It was a good initiation to women for me, but I could (and was hoping to) have gone all night with the girls. Alas, it was not to be. But it was still alot of fun.

Note to self: Next time I have a crush I'm trying to seduce, make sure she only drinks ONE bottle of wine. Amen.

When we were done, Kara got ready to go, and Princess contendedly passed out. Donata and Morticia, who had watched for awhile before going into the living room (funny how I had forgotten about them being there in the hot tub) and having enjoyed the show, started picking things up and readying themselves to go. I tried to wake Princess for the walk back to our room, but she was out cold. Donata assured me that we should stay, as she had been planning to go home, she had an early meeting. Which left Morticia, myself, and an unconcious Princess.

Morticia is cool in a way that only young goth girls can be. I helped her pack up the rest of the food, as being an art model doesn't pay a whole lot, and she was very grateful for all the grub. We hung out on the balcony, listening to the ocean and chatting. On the beachwalk in front of us was a bench, and there were two transients sleeping on it. Sleeping, that is, until they spotted us. One of the guys decided to try and chat (read: YELL to us, the ocean was loud as hell and we were on the third floor). We nodded as he shouted things up to us, having no idea what he was saying. Finally, we realized he was PREACHING to us, yelling out various books of the bible and basically reminding us to live as good Christians. We tried to assure him we were fine, while laughing our asses off, thinking if he only KNEW.....

Morticia left shortly after that, lugging her gobs of food. I curled up with Princess and hoped she wouldn't throw up on me.

I woke the next morning feeling less hung-over than I thought I would. Poor Princess, though, was feeling like death. She literally could not get out of bed, and all of our belongings were three stories and two blocks down the beach. I ventured down to the lobby with my achy feet (I had tried to break in a pair of really cute shoes, not a good idea when you're trekking up and down the beach) and fetched her some Advil. After some water and some painkillers, I was able to lure her out of bed for the journey to our other room. A room never slept in, which meant a wasted 175 bucks, but whatever. It was worth it.

We dragged ourselves down the beachwalk, past the beach shops, the tattoo shops, and the ever-multiplying transients shouting, "You girls look like you had a good time!" as we hauled twelve packs of left-over beer. We laughed, it was a walk of shame that we had never done, post-all girl 3-way. Although it didn't feel a bit shameful, and I handed a few beers to the bums. What the hell, time to celebrate, n'est ce pas?

Princess managed to move her body to the next bed, in our pristine hotel room. I drank coffee and finished my People magazine on the balcony while she mustered the energy to maintain an upright position. At 5 minutes to 11, Princess finally stood up and declared herself ready to go. Poor thing, I felt so bad for her. I drove her to her car, kissed her on the cheek, and headed home.

Several days later, Princess emailed me, apologizing for being so sick and inert the morning after our rendevous. She said how she would have liked to continue our play, but she was physically incapable. I assured her that we would have plenty of opportunities in the future. Her apparently well-endowed fiancee was disappointed that we hadn't used any of his toys, but I'm sure they will come in handy at some point.

And yesterday, after I had forgotten all about the Pleasure Party aspect of our party, I got a package in the mail. Mystified as to what it could be, I opened it up to find my huge, purple vibrator. My god, this thing is so huge I can't imagine what I would do with it. Or maybe I can....

And finally, Mamma Jen gets some pussy.

This weekend is Raine's wedding. As I'm a bridesmaid, I'll be busy as hell. But I still have to tell you about the bachelorette party, and the reasons I haven't been posting.

And this time, I PROMISE I won't slack on my journal. There's too much to tell.

greetings and salutations

2006-03-16T12:51:00.000-08:00

Hi! I'm Mamma J. I have a journal on another website that I've been doing for a couple years. Problem is, it's getting a bit....ummm.....racy for that site. So I'm moving it here so I can be as nasty as I wanna. Or don't wanna, we'll see how it goes.

Basic info: I'm 37, a single mamma w/two kids. I look younger, my most recent ex was 23. I work out, maybe that helps. My chain smoking probably doesn't, but I have an oral fixation that can't be tamed. I'm just a study in contradictions.

I'm an upright and responsible mamma as those things go. Most of my life is pretty damn boring. But when the kids go to their dads.....well, I like to party. With boys AND girls. I just got out of a relationship of 2 1/2 years, and I'm enjoying my single status immensely.

I have quite a few readers, I'm not sure why, it must all be somewhat interesting. My life does sometimes seem to take bizarre twists and turns. Oh, and I do this annonymously.....you don't need to know who I am.

That's about all the introducing I have the energy for today. If you'd like to backtrack and read my other journal, email me at mamma_j68@yahoo.com, and I'll send you the link to catch up on all the gooey, gory past.

My next entry will be about a slumber party this past weekend, hosted by a bi-sexual women's group I belong to.

So stay tuned.....